parenting, Support, Uncategorized

A Sad Day

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Today I am feeling sad as a human and as a parent. However, among the sadness and some anger I am able to squeeze out fragments of hope for change no matter how bleak things appear.  This is one of those days in my life that I will wrestle with my thoughts and emotions while I work to gather the words to talk with others. These moments come to all of us at various times in our lives, whether explaining an injustice, natural disaster, or a health crisis in the family. Searching for the right time and words to talk with a child when dealing with our own emotions has always been one of the more difficult things I have done as a parent.

At times, I have attempted to speed up this process so I can get the uncomfortable discussion out of the way and have been unsuccessful, as dealing with our emotions cannot be rushed. The only things I know for sure are that I want to be thoughtful about the words I use and I want to maintain my boundaries. I do not want to overshare my strong emotions. A child needs to know the adults in their life can contain their emotions so they are free to express their own in whatever form. Holding some space open to carry the weight of a child’s emotions rests with the adult.  Lastly, I will allow the child to sit with their own emotions and thoughts. I take comfort in knowing this allows all an opportunity to take in something upsetting, contemplate it, feel it and learn from it. I am not the fixer and I will not promise to be as I know these moments teach us much. We all deserve at least that much on a sad day.

 

parenting, Support, Uncategorized

A Fall Reminder

 

As fall marks the end of summer it brings with it much anticipation too. This is especially true if you have kiddos in your world as the inevitable rhythm of a school year brings excitement and trepidation. The mix of emotions drives much worry and anxiety for parents as they impatiently wait for signs of a child finding their way both academically and socially. This is especially apparent to me at the grocery store on weekdays around 3:00. At that time, I find parents running in for quick pick ups of needed items before kiddos come home from school. Most often, I can catch snippets of conversations about how kids are settling in to their new routines. The length of these conversations is often brief however the intensity is palpable.  Fall teacher conferences or mid-term grades will put much of the wondering to rest for some, while others will learn of new thoughts and potential concerns that were not even on their radar.

This can be a challenging time of year for kiddos as well as their parents. I try to remember this each fall and work to be a better friend, neighbor, co-worker and parent. For me the season of fall serves as a reminder to provide the care and support I would like to receive should I be struggling. Learning to be generous with kindness and compassion for myself and others is an ongoing goal.